Peeling Back the Layers

Mother. Wife. Daughter. Sister. Friend.

Teacher. Writer. Photographer.

Anger. Hurt. Frustration.

Joy. Inspiration. Creativity.

Me.

What's beyond the facade? We all wear one depending on the situation. Sometimes we're solemn and serious, even when laughter is echoing through the inside of our skulls. Other times we're laughing out loud, tears rolling down our cheeks, being the only one aware of the fact that the tears are for sadness and not joy.

I tell my students that there is a difference between the woman who comes to school and the woman who goes home at night. I use this when they need to understand that there is a time and place for certain words or actions. What may make me laugh at home will make me yell at school. They seem to understand when I put it to them in that way.

But there are so many other facades that we put in place. We wear them when we say that we are "fine" and that "nothing" is wrong. Why do we do that? Why do we build facades that hurt us rather than help us?

I think it is sometimes because we would rather be the ones who feel hurt...than to hurt the ones around us. I suppose it's easier to put on a happy facade than to say to a loved one, "You are causing me pain. And you don't even know it."

Several years ago, my husband and I went though a very difficult experience. We agreed that there were no hidden feelings, no emotions left unspoken. Whatever we were feeling had to be shared with the other person. No holds barred. It was a way to relieve the press of emotions within our hearts, to receive validation of our feelings, and to feel that we were not alone.

It worked. It worked so very, very well to just drop the facade and be in the moment, to peel back the layers of our emotions and just be true to each other and ourselves.