Off-Kilter

Ever have one of those days when you just feel off-kilter? When you just didn't feel right?

We're experiencing that right now. The area has been hit pretty hard by a nasty little stomach bug, and it finally invaded our house. My little guy has been sick for the last two days. Try to explain the nature of a stomach bug to a two-year-old. Poor fellow.

Well, needless to say, I've been feeling off-kilter as well. I think I'm using my Mommy Will Power to stay healthy enough to care for him. Once his fever breaks and he can keep some toast down, though? Ugh. I care not to think about it.

But illness isn't the only thing that makes one feel off-kilter. There are so many things that tilt us off the normal track of our daily lives. A break in the morning routine. An unintentional slight from a loved one. Dealing with a rude person.

I've felt off-kilter for a while now when it comes to merging the things that I have to do with the things that I want to do. I have to go to work everyday, and most days, I'm going to work at a place that has become toxic. Would I love to quit my job, find something else? Sure! But I have a family to help support and suddenly becoming unemployed would be toxic to our lives. Besides...I do have a good schedule and decent pay. Why would I give that up?

Why? Because I feel off-kilter. I'm not doing what I'm meant to do. But what I'm meant to do won't pay the bills for a long time...if ever.

Sheesh. Why is a prerequisite of adulthood a perpetual feeling of being off-kilter?

Still, I will say this. I've talked to my husband about this many times. He is unwaveringly supportive of helping me find a balance. And after a recent request, I think my off-kilter status has straightened by a couple of degrees. But more on THAT later...