Saturday, January 8, 2011


Ever have one of those days when you just feel off-kilter? When you just didn't feel right?

We're experiencing that right now. The area has been hit pretty hard by a nasty little stomach bug, and it finally invaded our house. My little guy has been sick for the last two days. Try to explain the nature of a stomach bug to a two-year-old. Poor fellow.

Well, needless to say, I've been feeling off-kilter as well. I think I'm using my Mommy Will Power to stay healthy enough to care for him. Once his fever breaks and he can keep some toast down, though? Ugh. I care not to think about it.

But illness isn't the only thing that makes one feel off-kilter. There are so many things that tilt us off the normal track of our daily lives. A break in the morning routine. An unintentional slight from a loved one. Dealing with a rude person.

I've felt off-kilter for a while now when it comes to merging the things that I have to do with the things that I want to do. I have to go to work everyday, and most days, I'm going to work at a place that has become toxic. Would I love to quit my job, find something else? Sure! But I have a family to help support and suddenly becoming unemployed would be toxic to our lives. Besides...I do have a good schedule and decent pay. Why would I give that up?

Why? Because I feel off-kilter. I'm not doing what I'm meant to do. But what I'm meant to do won't pay the bills for a long time...if ever.

Sheesh. Why is a prerequisite of adulthood a perpetual feeling of being off-kilter?

Still, I will say this. I've talked to my husband about this many times. He is unwaveringly supportive of helping me find a balance. And after a recent request, I think my off-kilter status has straightened by a couple of degrees. But more on THAT later...

1 comment:

  1. I felt that way the last couple of days myself. Maybe there is some strange alignment in the planets? Just keep plugging away during whatever free time you can squeeze out of your day to doing what you love...your dreams will materialize! Having a supportive spouse, a dream and a desire are the first steps so you've already got that!
    And, if you need to, you can borrow my rose-colored glasses. ;)