Sunday, April 3, 2011

Divisions


Wife. Mother. Teacher.
Cook. Housekeeper.
Me?

There are so many times that it just doesn't feel like there's room for all of them within me. Like when I devote myself to one, I'm sacrificing the other. If I clean that room right now, I'm denying a little boy a chance to play with me. If I help my husband with his graduate work, I'm giving up my time to work on photography.

I realize that there are priorities. And I'll always put my son and husband first. My house second. Me? A distant third...fourth...seventeenth.

But there are times when that's so hard. I feel like I give away so many pieces of myself that there's nothing left of or for me.

So then I focus on myself. Just to put some of the pieces back together. To keep part of myself whole so that the rest of myself will be supported.

And then I feel like...well...like a jerk. Like I'm being selfish and unreasonable. I can't seem to find the balance between who I have to be, who I need to be, who I'm expected to be, and who I want to be...

2 comments:

  1. If you find a way to achieve that balance please share it. I struggle with the same issues on a daily basis. I feel like I am almost at a breaking point where I need to find me again.

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  2. If I ever figure it out, I'll shout it from the rooftops and hills! :)

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