Divisions

Wife. Mother. Teacher.

Cook. Housekeeper.

Me?

There are so many times that it just doesn't feel like there's room for all of them within me. Like when I devote myself to one, I'm sacrificing the other. If I clean that room right now, I'm denying a little boy a chance to play with me. If I help my husband with his graduate work, I'm giving up my time to work on photography.

I realize that there are priorities. And I'll always put my son and husband first. My house second. Me? A distant third...fourth...seventeenth.

But there are times when that's so hard. I feel like I give away so many pieces of myself that there's nothing left of or for me.

So then I focus on myself. Just to put some of the pieces back together. To keep part of myself whole so that the rest of myself will be supported.

And then I feel like...well...like a jerk. Like I'm being selfish and unreasonable. I can't seem to find the balance between who I have to be, who I need to be, who I'm expected to be, and who I want to be...